Wednesday, February 02, 2011

Why am I still alive today?

I am alive because of a drunken encounter one July evening in 1968. I am alive because C was too afraid of her mother to abort me. I am alive because I didn't know what else to be. I am alive because of all the love my friends and family have given me.

I am alive today because even when I gave up on myself, it wasn't my time to go. That, and the Wellbutrin.

On a tangential but related topic, two nights ago I read a review of an exhibition at the British Museum concerning the Egyptian Book of the Dead. While the Egyptians didn't call it "The Book of the Dead," Egyptologists use that term for collected papyri that tell the deceased how to navigate through the afterlife. The texts recount spells and provide guidance for surviving ceremonies and encountering different beasts and gods. The Book of the Dead provides a fascinating view into ancient Egyptian conceptions of life, as well as death.

One particular passage, related to judgment, describes the weighing of the deceased's heart. It must weigh exactly as much as the feather of Maat, symbolizing right or truth. If the deceased fails the test, the heart (and the deceased) will be devoured by a beast that is part crocodile, part hippopotamus, and part lion. No more afterlife!

Talk about regret.

Weighing of the Heart, from the Papyrus of Hu-nefer

5 comments:

Von said...

Gee!Who wants an afterlife anyway! This one was too hard!

Jake said...

I know I don't comment on your blog much but I always read it. I love the way you write and you always say really interesting things

Thanks

ms. marginalia said...

Thanks to both of you for reading!

I agree, Von. This one, when it's over, will have been quite enough.

I am a sucker for things Egyptological, though. What fantastic imaginations. I am so freaking nerdy that I bought a book to help me brush up on reading Middle Egyptian. I clearly have too much time on my hands.

Unknown said...

Love all things Egypt too and have found that passage in the book of the dead interesting. Has there ever been a culture that does not believe in an afterlife? I find that interesting too.

Since you live in the Bay Area, have you visited the Rosicrucian Egyptian Museum in San Jose? Great place!

ms. marginalia said...

I have been to the Rosicrucian Museum! Lots of fun. I was a TA in an Egyptian art/archaeology class at Berkeley about 11 years ago, and I took the class there and had to go back to grade their papers on sundry objects.

Now that my kids are older, I need to take them.