Is it just me, or is the term "birth child" really icky?
I don't like being called my aparents' "adopted daughter" when I am introduced. I am their daughter.
C calls me her daughter, placed for adoption.
I don't want to be anyone's "birth child."
Why do we need more freaking labels for children in all this mess?
Is it not a fact that I was born C's daughter, and that now I am the daughter of my aparents, end of story?
It might take longer to write it out "son/daughter placed," but being called a "bchild," or "bdaughter" or any such thing makes my skin crawl. It reduces me to no more than a pile of cells that came out of someone's vagina. It makes me even more Other than I already feel. Fuck. Then again, that's the point: the industry wants to distance us from our first families, as much as possible. Labels help with that!
I have two sets of parents, and I don't really like calling my aparents my aparents, because they are my parents. C is my mother and my friend. I wish I could refer to all of them without labels, but I get that there has to be some way of distinguishing between the two sets of parents for clarity. I guess, in protest, I could just start referring to the parents who adopted me by their initials, as well.
But a child is ONE person, not two. I don't need a label, as if to say I am someone's "real" daughter and another person's "fake" daughter. Parents hate labels, so why apply them to us? Oh yes, see my previous post about adoptees not having a voice.
I Googled "birth child" and and found this on Adoption.org: "A birth child is a child that is biologically related to a mother and father." Okay, this is true of almost every family not formed by adoption. Do I need to refer to my own sons as my "birth children" now, or would that be gratuitous? If not, why not? If I went around school or the neighborhood, calling my sons my "birth children," people would think I was crazy. And yet this whole industry bullshit set-up is crazy, no, crazy-making.
Do any of my adoptee readers feel comfortable referring to themselves as a "birth child," or "bio child"? I have never read any adoptee referring to him/herself in this way. Were we asked about this?
Does the industry care what we think? Ha, ha, ha, that was a rhetorical question, of course.
Thank you, no, fuck you, adoption industry, for yet another needless label to isolate adoptees. As if we don't feel strange enough! It's hard to be just a kid sometimes when you're adopted and have to explain relationships. Sometimes you don't want to explain anything, but if people are labeling you bchild, what chance do you have? Especially if your own first family calls you "bchild"? Why can't you just be their son or daughter? Seriously?