Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Diversity

I am an adoptee, and in that sense I belong to a social minority. I was asked today to think about diversity. My life has been immeasurably enriched by friends who belong to groups very different from mine: genders, social classes, ethnicities, cultures, and so on.

How do we definite diversity?
According to Merriam-Webster:
di•ver•si•ty:
1. the condition of having or being composed of different elements; VARIETY; especially, the inclusion of different types people (as in people of different races or cultures) in a group or organization diversity
in schools>2. an instance of being composed of differing elements or qualities: an instance of being diverse diversity
of opinion>
The first definition is about how a group of people looks, perhaps, or define themselves; their families, abilities, or ethnicities. The second definition isn't necessarily about ideas, but the example they chose is interesting in that it does.

We absolutely have a diversity of opinion in adoptoland, although that diversity not always welcomed or praised. We also have a diversity of adoptees, and of adoptee experiences (and of course, of first parent and adoptive parent experiences, too). Some of us adoptees are older than others; some of us are infant adoptees; some of us are international adoptees; some of us are foster adoptees; some of us are in reunion; some of us are not. Some of us spend hours thinking about what adoption has meant; some of us don't think much about it at all. Some of us have written books about adoption; some of us have written about other topics. Some of us are artists; some of us are comedians; some of us are professional chefs; some of us have moved home to the countries of our births. Some of us are activists; some of us care more about our clothes than about our bloodlines. Some of us are depressed; some of us are unquenchably happy. To quote Kurt Vonnegut, "So it goes."

And all of it is okay.

Today I send out love to all of my adoptee comrades, wherever you are, whoever you are. Pax. We are in this together.

Diversity is what makes us strong. I have learned more--the most, perhaps--from the people living lives most divergent from mine. Those were the people who encouraged me to look hard, and carefully, at myself, to scrutinize my unearned privilege, to look at the unspoken things that I can take for granted. Things that many other people cannot, just by virtue of who they were born, and where they were born, and the why of their births. Inequalities don't come from nowhere.

I know I have posted this beautiful, heartbreaking essay before, by my wonderful friend who has seen me through thick and thin and taught me more about diversity and justice and what my role in changing things needs to be, and why, than anyone else. But I want to honor him today by posting it again.


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