I was not given a name when I was born, just the throwaway "Baby Girl Newman."
The name my parents gave me, "Kara Jane Olsen," never really suited me, and I have blogged before about how people use "Kara" to abuse me by mispronouncing it. I. Am. Done. With. Abuse.
I don't like my married name, for a multitude of reasons, even though there is a funny etymological story attached to it. It's impossible (or seemingly impossible for rude Americans) to pronounce.
So I am starting over. Call it a midlife crisis, or what you will.
I call it taking control of my identity, and it feels great.
I told my adad that I am jettisoning his name, too. He was sad, but I think he understands why I am doing this.
I have a new last name picked out, and one of my sons wants to change his to it, as well. The first name is in flux. My amom suggested one that has mythological undertones that make sense, as well as a tie to a family member. I like it, but I really, really, really want a name that is JUST mine.
I will let you know when I figure it all out.
I am thankful that I don't live in Germany, where it is illegal to change one's name.
I love Irish mythology, and the story of the seal maiden, the Selkie, who comes ashore and lives life as a human although she has another life, another existence, under the sea and is always pulled back there. I feel that this is my pull back to something, my chance to be myself. Separate from anyone else's family or expectations.
I might as well be Athena, born fully grown from her father's head. Life is strange.
5 comments:
Good for you! I can't wait to see what name you pick!
I've considered changing my name too, but I'm afraid I would never get another passport.
I think it is a wonderful idea!
xoxo
Elizabeth
I totally agree with you and understand your desire to change your name. Our names are very powerful, they reflect our identity. I had also planned to add on my natural father's surname but decided against it because, like Elizabeth, I am afraid of having complications with getting a passport. I remember you wrote that you are interested in exploring your Spanish heritage further. I don't know if you have gone to Spain or if this is still on your bucket list. But I suggest that you investigate thoroughly the ramifications of changing your name legally so that it doesn't interfere with any other plans you may have.
You both make an excellent point about the passport. I have one, but a complete change would complicate things at least, and definitely give me a red flag with Homeland Security. Bears thinking about, although I really want to make a radical change.
I have been to Spain before, but I had no idea then that I was half Spanish by blood. It is interesting that I traveled along the pilgrimage trail in Northern Spain, in the Basque lands, where my DNA tells me my nfather's family has its roots.
The first name I have chosen is actually a Basque name, and I love it; it also has Scottish resonance. It feels very much more *like* me than the first name my aparents gave me.
Good for you! I am "______ ______ Best" on my OBC. B-mom wanted to name me but they wouldn't let her.
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