Depression

I had a conversation in the past couple of days with someone who really doesn't seem to understand my history of depression, or how it works. I was thrown aback by a couple of things said, such as, "If I had known you then, I would have told you to suck it up," or "I would give you a reality check." Hmm.

I didn't find this "help" particularly insightful or amusing--and perhaps it was intended to insult, not help. At the moment, I am not depressed, but as a person who has had a life-long struggle with this disease (which not simply an attitude problem, by the way), I was deeply offended. People who are depressed need support, not to be told to try harder. It's a psycho-social-emotional trifecta of hell.

I ran across this fabulous link of things not to say to someone who is depressed, and I thought I would share them as a public service. Enjoy!

Ways to Insult Someone with Depression 
(an exercise in sarcasm)

Posted: 26 May 2007

Nothing cuts deeper to someone with depression, than when their serious condition is trivialized by another who doesn’t understand it. In an effort to counter this, let’s trivialize the way that people trivialize depression.

–

There are lots of good ways to insult someone with depression. You need to give some unsolicited advice. Something simple, profound, and potentially life changing. Just snap out of it lacks imagination.

Here are some ideas:
“You don’t like feeling that way? So change it!”
“Life isn’t meant to be easy.”
“This is what life is like. Get used to it.”
“Pull yourself together.”
“Who said that life is fair?”
“You just have to get on with things.”
“At least it’s not that bad.”
“Stop feeling sorry for yourself.”
“You have so many things. What do you have to feel down about?”
“You just need to cheer up.”
“Quit trying to be a martyr.”
“Stop taking all those medicines.”
“I know how you feel. I’ve been depressed for whole days at a time.”

These are my favorites:
“What you need is a good kick up the backside.”
“Go out and buy yourself some clothes. That will pick you up.”
“Are you sure you don’t have a mental problem?”
“How about I cook you a good meal. That will make things better.”
“Have you tried acupuncture?”
“Get a job!”

And the all time best:
“Why don’t you try not being depressed.”

(N.B. Occasionally someone reads this post and misses its sarcasm. Just to be clear, it isn’t mocking people with depression; it is pointing out how insensitive people can be.)