tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32292276.post4137714541674915130..comments2023-05-21T01:53:32.046-07:00Comments on Marginal Perspectives: The Duck Among the Chickensms. marginaliahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03854609171313401651noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32292276.post-89384824313830032322011-06-20T22:55:51.620-07:002011-06-20T22:55:51.620-07:00I'm a newish reader catching up on the back st...I'm a newish reader catching up on the back story. I think some of your comments about not knowing other ducks remind me why open adoption can work. It makes different issues, this is true, but for some kids they end up knowing the ducks and the chickens. My godson can call me (or his firstmom if he's feeling up to it) and ask about the ducks. Often I get random texts as he thinks of something. I think all those little texts add up to a familiarity. He's a teenager now, but he knows what he wants when he wants it. Does she like yogurt as much as he does? Although she's short, he's passed 6 feet tall already, how tall is her dad? When did his firstmom's brother start exhibiting signs of his mental illness? It all grows into a family portrait that he can have some connection with on his terms. Families are so complicated. I always felt like a duck with my family too, even as an adult. I was raised with family members that couldn't be discussed, people disappearing and reappearing, mystery. I've always been more drawn to the openness. When my godson started asking questions it just felt right to answer. He knows I know almost everyone involved in his birth, I was in the room when he was born. He is a duck among chickens, but he is kind of learning to be both over time it seems. His sister has no curiosity about any of it so far, but she has some disabilities that may be more consuming for her. I do enjoy your blog, even though I don't agree with everything you say. Good luck on your continued journey.Peacehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09981435588748076396noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32292276.post-30426687567203524472011-05-14T10:55:43.547-07:002011-05-14T10:55:43.547-07:00Jeannette, thanks for commenting! I am not at all ...Jeannette, thanks for commenting! I am not at all surprised. Adoptees live a live so divorced of who we might have been that we sometimes don't think logically when it comes to our flesh and what it is heir to. I had a chance to read your blog, and I am so sorry for your loss and the lies you were told at the time of your daughter's adoption. There is so much painting of pictures of things that are fantasies. Breaks my heart.ms. marginaliahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03854609171313401651noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32292276.post-27966849445013360592011-05-10T10:47:29.906-07:002011-05-10T10:47:29.906-07:00I hear you on all fronts on thisI hear you on all fronts on thisjoyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15658928829424953809noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-32292276.post-10180737525350238302011-05-10T10:18:12.029-07:002011-05-10T10:18:12.029-07:00Your comment about worrying you might be infertile...Your comment about worrying you might be infertile really hit me. My daughter that I placed assumed she would be infertile too. She told me "everyone in the (adoptive)family is infertie even the ones that married into the family had fertility problems why would I asume I was any different? Why would I be any more lucky than them." Is it really so much of a surprise that my daughter became pregnant at 17 with this thinking in her head?Jeannettehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10031950274392571035noreply@blogger.com